12 Tips for greater confidence and happiness

Whether you are young or old here are some tips to raise your personal level of confidence. This also helps you to relate more effectively to others too. Read the tips, share them with young people and together you can build your confidence and happiness levels.

1. Note down positive comments that other people say about you.
2. Focus on the positive aspects of your life and your achievements.
3. Learn from the things that go wrong but don’t become a victim to events – your past does not have to determine who you are today or in the future.
4. Observe yourself from time to time as if you were a film director and notice what you see and how to develop your strengths.
5. Remember that no one has exactly the same thoughts and ideas, so share yours, listen to others and express yourself in groups.
6. Value yourself, your uniqueness, your personal views and others will be more likely to respect you.
7. Don’t measure yourself against others.
8. Be open to HEARING praise and recognition from others. Each day give yourself credit and think about the chance remarks or positive feedback you get from those around you.
9. If someone gives you a compliment, don’t rubbish it but accept it with grace. Notice your language. Are you putting yourself down – for example, ‘I’m no good at this subject’ or ‘I will never be able to succeed at …’?
10. Notice and recognize your own successes and achievements. Even when you don’t succeed, give yourself the credit for trying – that is a success and achievement in itself. Measure a person’s feedback with your own honest viewpoint. Just because one person says you have not done well does not make it a ‘fact’ but simply their viewpoint; check back with your own measure.
11. Practise a ‘self-confidence snapshot’ routine every day – as many times as possible. Start to feel confident as you leave your bedroom in the morning, then again at breaktime, lunchtime, teatime and as you walk home. The more you practise the more natural a part of you confidence becomes. You can then use this technique any time you need to feel confident – exams, interviews, parties, dates and more …
12. Listen to the stories of successful people on the television or read about them in magazines. You will often discover that they were not necessarily confident at the beginning of their lives but have developed confidence through hard work.

Why bother?

• We now live in a global environment. Wherever you live there is competition from other nationalities for university places and jobs. You are not always encouraged to express your strengths and talents. It is necessary that you start to do so because many other cultures are more forthright about demonstrating their successes and achievements. This does not mean boasting or being arrogant but it does mean that you need to value what you have created and experienced.
• Life can change in an instant. When you start work, the company you work for might be taken over or someone might enter your department who is better at putting across his or her strengths than you are. Realize that you are being observed so demonstrate your skills daily – don’t get complacent. Equally remember that you can choose to transfer these skills into another company.
• When you value and appreciate yourself this helps others to value and appreciate you.
• Identifying and living by your personal values raises your self-esteem. When you take action that is not congruent with your values you can demean yourself and this increases your stress levels. Increased stress levels, deplete your immune system and put you at risk of illness.
• In the 21st century, much comment has been made of the lack of ‘trust’ of government and corporate behaviours. These relate to personal values, as trust is built through ‘walking your talk’ – that is, living and acting in the way you talk. Therefore, if you want people to trust you, behave in a trustworthy way yourself and you are more likely to gain the trust of others.
• A person who is confident has more inner security than someone who lacks confidence. This makes him or her more able to listen to the opinions and views of other people and not feel threatened by them.
• Confident people are more able to bring out the best in other people as well as themselves and be capable of building a supportive team of people around them.

My first action step
Commit yourself to one action step over the next week that will help you feel good about yourself. This week I shall:
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